Camping News
February 2007
Hello happy campers,
We are just weeks a way from Spring and I’m ready. Looking forward
to a great season and some good campfire stories. Here are some things
that people have sent or things that I have found looking on the internet.
Aphorism:
A statement of principle
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his
tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any
sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone
else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy
a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this: No one ever says "It's only a game" when
his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print There's no way you're going to
like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the
Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Corvette than in a Hyundai.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
you are probably dead.
Good !!!!!! SAFETY TIP -- HOME INVASION
Hope you don't need to use this!!
Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise
outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just
press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off,
and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or
the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator.
Makes sense to me...
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to
her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".
He never heard the shot..........
When the pain of staying becomes more than the pain of change…..
it’s time to move on
WD-40...Who Knew?
I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one
Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around
the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason). I went over,
woke him up, and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying
to figure out what to do probably nothing until Monday morning, since
nothing was open. Another neighbor came out and told him to get his
WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and
did not harm his
paint job that was on the truck. I'm impressed! WD-40 who knew?
Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust
preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40
was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical
Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water
displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth
formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect
their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40
that would hurt you.
When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first
thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic,
it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your
stovetop.. Voila! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.
Here are some of the uses:
1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows. (Wonder if it works on horses? Mosquitos?)
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewelry chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40
for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to
harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them
off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
18) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly!
Use WD-40!
19) Gives a childrens' play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
20) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling
on riding mowers.
21) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
22) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier
to open.
23) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
24) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well
as vinyl bumpers.
25) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
26) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for
easy handling.
27) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running
smoothly.
28) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
29) Removes splattered grease on stove.
30) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
31) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
32) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
33) Removes all traces of duct tape.
34) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve
arthritis pain.
35) Florida's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from
grills and bumpers."
36) The favorite use in the state of New York WD-40 protects the Statue
of Liberty from the elements.
37) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you
will be catching the big one in no time. It's a lot cheaper than the
chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind
though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not
allowed in some states.
38) Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately
and stops the itch.
39) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark
and wipe with a clean rag.
40) Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed
and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick
spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
41) If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace
the moisture and allow the car to start.
42) Spray on tangles in horse manes or tails, comb out instead of cutting
off!
P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL
Happy Camping,
Jerry Pressley
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