Hello fellow campers, drop me a line about places to see, things to do, and new gadgets on the market that you would like to tell fellow campers about.

Thanks for your comments.

Camping News

August 2007

Hello Fellow Campers,

     Sorry for not having my monthly mailer in July but time just got away from me, and the next thing I knew it was over and I did’n get my stuff ready in time so here we are in August the hot month….

Don’t forget Elvis Pressley week, it’s this month Aug 8th to the 16 and here’s a link for more events on Elvis. http://www.elvis.com/graceland/calendar/elvis_week.asp

    I had a company that contacted us that makes custom fit mattress and other thing
For your camper needs. Here is their web page if you want some more information about them www.Sleepsystemsonline.com
1-888-WOOL BED (1-888-966-5233

And  these are the funnies for this month

LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"  WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.  I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.  COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.  THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.  HMMM...OR COULD HE???

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.  "YES.  YES, I DID.  I HAD A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.  "WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.  HE ANSWERED, "IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?"  "YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.  HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the  car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,  "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." Oh yeah, said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what.. A rectum stretcher"?  "And just what  does a rectum stretcher do?" Well, she said, "I start by inserting one  finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide." "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge!"

             TrafficTicket                                   $95.00
              Court Costs                                    $45.00
             Look on the Cop's Face ...           PRICELESS

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be . Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying . It's raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days,they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Everyday they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit outin the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer..

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend.
 
Happy Camping,
Jerry
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